Category: Journal

Prayer Meeting

Posted on by euniceo

This evening, as I prepared to leave home for my church’s weekly prayer meeting, my heart felt unsettled. “What’s the point of going?” I muttered within me. I was surprised by this attitude and felt really discouraged. I wondered about the point of praying and the effectiveness of my prayers. But by the mercy of God, He enabled me to go. My plan was just to go and listen to the prayers. I do find it encouraging to listen to others praying, so at least I would be there, I thought.

So I went to the prayer meeting. It began as it always does, one of my pastors — the one leading for the evening, going through the different prayer points, on matters close to home and also across the world. As these needs were being shared, I felt my heart stirred. I felt the desire to pray. This was God’s mercy to me.

At some point during the meeting, the scripture about praying and not losing heart came to mind. It felt like a lifting of my spirits thinking of that scripture. It is in the scripture to pray. I am commanded to pray, and that’s the point! That truth comforted and strengthened me.

“Then He spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart.” (Luke 18:1, NKJV)

So at some point, I prayed, trusting that despite my seemingly muddled-up words, I was obeying the Lord by praying, and the Lord was hearing. The Lord hears.

I may not understand how the Lord works through my prayers, but His perfect Word tells me to pray. So, when next I feel discouraged about praying, I pray for the grace to remember what the point is —God commands me to pray, and His commandment is pure, enlightening the eyes (Psalm 19:8).

I just performed a quick exercise of searching for instances where praying is referenced in the Bible, and it is almost on every page. Christ prayed, and He taught His disciples to pray. May the Lord help me to truly pray and not lose heart.

Joy Comes

Posted on by euniceo

Journal Entry 24/10/2021

Life can be hard. The trials can be intense but Christ is becoming sweeter to me. The way He patiently comes through. Oh for the grace to trust him more.

The past week has been a difficult one. I have been physically ill and felt so isolated. Battled with brain fog and despair. Self pity showed up too. I felt the fight and thought I was losing. I constantly prayed to God for help. I didn’t feel immediate relief but kept going (by God’s grace)! Today the cloud seems to be lifting. I went to church and that brief fellowship time refreshed my soul. God’s mercy is truly great. I feel His patience and love for me. It never left of course. It just reminds me how fickle feelings can be. I’m encouraged that the cloud always lifts. Joy comes in the morning. I will continue to wait for the morning.

I am thankful for the Lord’s Day.

Posted on by euniceo

I started today with tears but by the end of the day I was laughing with my brothers and sisters in Christ. The Lord’s day is such a gift from the Lord.

There are days I wonder what it would be like for God to wipe away all our tears***. Today, I think I caught a glimpse of what that would be like.

Sitting under faithful preaching, having encouraging conversations, food, hugs, laughter with people who love God! It really is a taste of heaven! I felt God’s love in many ways today. It truly is healing! My security in Him was renewed! It never changed of course, as He never changes, but my awareness of it was heightened today. I felt unshakeable in Him! My hope in Him refreshed. This day truly is a means of grace.

What a blessing it is to know Christ! What a blessing it is to sit under the faithful preaching of His Word in the local church! What a blessing it is to have fellowship with people who love Him!

I truly am thankful for the Lord’s day!

***"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. 
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.”" -  Revelation 21:3-5 ESV

On pain

Posted on by euniceo

I recently moved out of my parents’ house to my own place. One of the things I have started to enjoy is cooking. My mum is an excellent cook, and she did a lot of the cooking while I lived at home and while I enjoyed it, there was less motivation for me to cook there.

Living by myself has meant that I have been cooking and baking much more, and this has meant more cuts and burns on my hands and arms, me being a bit clumsy by nature. Examining the healing process of the latest burn on my forearm has provoked some thoughts. The obvious being that healing takes time and the important of patience and the place for waiting. Not just aimless waiting, but waiting on God.

When the initial burn happened, it stung like nobody’s business, but I really didn’t see or feel the effect until the next couple of days where a painful blister had formed and boy did it hurt! Looking at the pattern formed as my body worked to heal really fascinated me. It pointed me back to the creator of said body – God. As I write this, my mind flashes back to the initial incident; it was under one second. I had been trying to flip a plantain I was roasting in the oven over to the other side, without actually taking the pan it was in out of the oven. I thought I could navigate it, but in a split second, my hand touched the edge of the HOT pan, and my God-given reflexed kicked in to immediately lift my hand off – but the damage had already been done. I feel like I’m diverting from the main points of my initial thoughts (typical!), but I think at the same time I am having two trains of thought. One is the appreciation of the amazing work of God in the workings of the body, and the second is the parallel I am trying to drawn from that.

Healing, patience, waiting.

A lot has happened this year that has stressed to me the need for waiting well, especially through painful situations. The pain of my burn did not kill me. The healing process did not kill me. God had already put the process in place, it was for me to wait and let it run its course. I can’t help but draw a parallel here to the painful situations I have found myself in. Situations where I have felt helpless to do anything about. Situations that where painful, so painful. All I could do was pray to God for strength and wait. Relief from the pain did not immediately come, but the grace to bear it certainly did.

I am changing

Posted on by euniceo

Just reflecting on the reality that most things take time. Progress is a factor of time. Growth is a factor of time. Developing good habits and disciplines take time. Patience. There’s grace for even this moment. This very minute as I type these words, God is at work in me. Grace from the one who holds the times and seasons in his hands.

These thoughts came this evening as I had the urge to do something other than watch a series on Netflix or Amazon in a moment of free time. Instead, I had the urge to tidy my room. Usually it would take it becoming really messy for me to make myself tidy it up. But today I just thought “let me tidy up and vacuum”. This is grace I feel. It’s a strong feeling that this is one of these moments that almost feels like a whisper that… “See? it is possible. You can change. By my grace you can change and you are changing.”

I am thankful for the how God pays attention to the details of my life in a way no one ever can. It is days like this that reminds me that I don’t need the things I need as much as I think I need them. I catch a glimpse of the endless satisfaction that comes from resting in the bosom of Christ. And for a little moment I’m at total peace, unaffected by the cares of this world. A glimpse of heaven. I wish I would never lose sight of God’s grace.

Who? Me?

Posted on by euniceo

It can be a lonely place when one is falsely accused. I must fight against the bitterness and the weariness that can try and creep in when faced with this reality. Some of the weapons in my arsenal include the truth that: God knows. Others might not but God in his infinite wisdom knows me, and he knows the truth better than anyone else; even myself. I must take refuge in him as man will fail me again and again. Others may not be interested in the truth but God loves the truth.

“As for you, brothers, do not grow weary in doing good.”

‭‭2 Thessalonians‬ ‭3:13‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

‭‭Colossians‬ ‭3:17‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish.””

‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭31:25‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.”

‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12:3‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.”

‭‭Galatians‬ ‭6:9-10‬ ‭ESV‬‬

The Bible is so rich! ❤️

What Choice?

Posted on by euniceo

I think one of the biggest lies women have been made to believe is “my body, my choice” in the context of abortion. It’s not just your body. That’s the whole point of the fight for life. The baby is in your body, but it’s not your body! It is a separate human being, temporarily living in your body. Literally living. This is why at some point it’s meant to come out of your body. Ideally alive.

Of course a woman has the choice of whether she wants to be pregnant or not. If she wants to be pregnant she decides to have sex, her and her partner being fully aware of the possible consequences of that act e.g. pregnancy among other things. And if she doesn’t want to be pregnant then she abstains from sex. It’s that simple. Actions have consequences.

Abortion is not something to be proud of or celebrated. Sadly, the mainstream mentality seems to be, “I didn’t want to have a baby so I killed it, yay me! And you can do it too!” Psychopaths.

Part of the problem is how sex has been trivialised by our society. A lot of movies, music, art etc. celebrate “casual” sex. The idea of premarital sex is no longer shocking.

There are still some who do appreciate the seriousness and therefore encourage people to only have sex when they are in a serious relationship or with someone “they truly love”. This is part of the problem as it is a half truth, which is therefore a lie. According to our Creator, the only relationship serious enough for sex to happen is within marriage.

We are all sinners. Bent to do things in our own way. But there is forgiveness with God. And when we do repent we are forgiven; we don’t celebrate or rejoice in our former sins. We rejoice that we have been forgiven, and granted the ability to live in obedience to God. To live right. Like we were created to.

Pressing On

Posted on by euniceo

In January I had wondered if and how I would make it through the days that followed. It’s April and I realise that I did make it through those days and through many other days I felt I just couldn’t. God’s grace is beyond anything I’ve experienced. I’m thankful my life isn’t structured by how I feel, but the truth that God has spoken into my life through his word. Truths that don’t change. So, I don’t ignore how I feel or the realities of my life – I tried that and it didn’t work. No, but I take them to God and continue to. He doesn’t ignore them, so I shouldn’t.

He sees my fears and says “do not be afraid.” “Be still and know that I am God.” He sees weariness and says “come to me.” “My grace is sufficient.” He sees self condemnation and says “I am your Salvation.” He sees rejections and says “nothing can separate you from my love.” He sees heartbreak and says “I am near” “I heal and bind up wounds.” He sees doubt and says “trust me”. He sees pain and he reminds me that it’s sanctifying and he’s with me through and through.

With confidence in him, I plough on… through temptations, loneliness, joys, distractions, and other things that come with living. Becoming more and more conscious of my utter need and dependence on him, I’m learning how to lean on his everlasting arms.

By his grace I will make it through today, tomorrow and however many other days he has written out for me. And when my days on this earth end, it will really only just be the beginning.

Test All Things

Posted on by euniceo

Realising more and more how important it is to seek God for myself. To dig deep and learn from God’s word by myself. Nobody has a special access to God. The only One that does is Christ Jesus, and by his finished work on the cross I can have access to him. Don’t let anyone else make you feel they have some kind access to God that you don’t, outside of Christ. They are lying to you. There is no special revelation beyond what is already written. The cannon is closed. Anything you hear, test test test.

There’s a lot of sweet nothings out there parading as “of God”. Seemingly grand revelations that when you try to get to the bottom of have no depth. God has given us all that we need in scripture. As we diligently dig in, his Holy Spirit will teach and guide us. It’s a promise from God himself. Don’t get distracted. The Christian faith is simple. Not easy. Simple.