My life is a testimony to the fact that my survival is not based on how hard I hold on. God’s grace and that alone is my lifeline. NOTHING can snatch me from his hands. I can stare my fears, battles, temptation in the face and stand on the work of Christ, I can run by his strength alone. Even if I tremble, He holds me still. Even if there’s darkness, he guides me still. By that grace I will live to see another day.
Category: Journal
So you know these proposal videos where the guy knees down and then the lady tries to run away in shock or tries to cover her face or starts to cry etc, I’ve never understood it. I mean it’s really sweet to watch and if I was in the crowd my “awwww!” would probably be the loudest o, but logically I don’t understand the surprise element. That’s a pretty big question to be surprised about. If it ever happened to me, I’ll probably just stand there and be like “Yes I’ll marry you, like we discussed/agreed last week.” 🤷🏽♀️
Don’t quote me on that though as I’ve heard love makes people do very strange things. 😝
Year 2018
My survival this year has been supernatural. How God has sustained me despite many trials. How his word has steadied me when I was shaky and struggling to balance. How he continues to heal through painful circumstances. How he has been the answer in dumbfounding circumstances. How he has provided in my lack a-many. How he has been God in countless other ways, known and unknown to me.
He hasn’t just done these things and left me to it, he continues to. To sustain, to steady, to heal, to satisfy, to protect. I feel the battle for my soul, and I’m thankful for the strength of my God. I pray to draw closer to him in the coming year. No matter what comes, he’s got me. I pray to be more restful and thankful.
The sanctification continues….
Promises Promises
Journal Entry 11/10/2018
I just read a post on Instagram that said something in the line of “do not rely or build your life around the promises of people” and it really resounded with me due to things I’ve experienced. But if that was the start and end of it, then it would be a miserable reality… for me anyway. I wasn’t built to do life on my own.
As a Christian, I am thankful for the hope I have in Christ. It is a life-saving, life transforming hope. God has his promises for his own. Promises that are sure as he is. I ought to learn them, hope in them and live on.
On a cloudy day like today when memories of disappointments (inner and outer) may threaten to overwhelm, it especially helps to remember. Come rain, come shine, I don’t have to rely on others, neither do I have to rely on myself; I can rely on God. He works through us all. Our disappointments, let downs, set-backs, everything. So, as I write this , I inhale and exhale, sigh and stretch, ready for whatever comes next.
Secure & Safe
There is a level of trust that you need to have in someone to be able to bare yourself to them; but beyond that, and more importantly, there is a level of security you need to have beyond that person. Because what happens if they don’t respond the way you want them to? Or what happens if they do? How will the pain of rejection or the joy from acceptance affect you?
If you are secure in yourself (in who you are in Christ), then neither the pain nor the joy will be centre of the affections or relationship. Because yes, there is a pain that comes with rejection, and there is a joy that comes when you feel accepted, but ultimately it is who you are that makes you overcome or enjoy these respective experiences in the right way.
And when I say, “who you are”, I don’t mean who you are in yourself, but I refer to someone bigger, i.e. God, because of who he is, and therefore what you have in him – who you are in him. He ultimately is the centre – not them and not you.
So while I was searching for scriptures that practically affirm my worth (and yes we need to in the right context), I came across this quote by Thomas Brooks, quoted by John Piper*, referring to “who you are”…
“Beloved in our dearest Lord, you are those worthies ‘of whom this world is not worthy,’ Hebrews 11:38. You are the princes ‘that prevail with God,’ Genesis 32:28. You are those ‘excellent ones’ in whom is all Christ’s delight, Psalm 16:3. You are his glory. You are his picked, culled, prime instruments which he will make use of to carry on his best and greatest work against his worst and greatest enemies in these latter days.”
It is always freeing to remember the truth about ourselves and about God. Be comforted dear heart. ❤
PS: Other scripture references you could look up:
John 10:28-29
I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand.
Romans 8:35-39:
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?
As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Philippians 1:6
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
Psalm 23:1
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
Psalm 118:6-7
The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? The Lord is on my side as my helper; I shall look in triumph on those who hate me.
Search the scriptures, for there lies a great treasure! 🙂
Made on Purpose
Last night I slept. This morning I woke up. I didn’t will myself to sleep and I had no control of my waking up. I had no control of when my heart first started beating. I had no control over it as I slept. Even now as I’m awake, as I place my left hand on my chest to feel the rhythm, I still have no control over it. It continues to beat. Some say it’s science. Well, you can use that to explain the mechanics of it, but the origin? Nah. It’s beyond that. I’m a living breathing miracle. Intentionally created by a magnificent Creator. Not by chance, not by accident. It’s a fact bigger than and beyond me.
A better longing
“My heart was saying, “Lord, take away this longing, or give me that for which I long.” The Lord was answering, “I must teach you to long for something better.””- Elisabeth Elliot, Passion & Purity
Lord knows how many times my heart has echoed that! But it’s wonderful to think that by His amazing grace, even in the midst of these heart struggles, He is patiently, lovingly, firmly moving my focus from my desires (what I think I need) to what I really need – Him and more and more and more of Him – until they are one and the same.
The Psalmist knew this when he said…”How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD of hosts! My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the LORD; my heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God.” Psalm 84:1-2
And God Himself says…
“Why do you spend… your labour for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food.” Isaiah 55:2
He truly works all things together for your good dear believer. Seek Christ. Trust Him. 🙂
Journal entry 19/06/2015
Rest
For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him.
He only is my rock and salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.
– Psalm 62:5-8
My hope and rest lies not in my circumstances nor my understanding it circumstances, but in God who is ever present with me in the midst of those circumstances.
Guidance
Many Christians also take a “passive trust” approach to seeking guidance and direction from the Lord. They think that knowing God’s will comes as God reveals his secret plan to them; then they will know what to do. But guidance is really a matter of obedient, active trust. I examine the options before me using the principles, themes, and perspectives of Scripture. Then, to the best of my knowledge and ability, I apply biblical wisdom and make a decision. My decision is not based on reading God’s mind, but on things he has clearly revealed in his Word. As I step forward, I entrust myself to the Lord, knowing that he rules over everything and will place me where he wants me. This is the biblical model of guidance. Too many people have their “Christian divining rods” out in hopes of discovering the secret will of God. Meanwhile, the Bible in their hands is unopened – the thing God has said will be a “lamp to their feet and a light to their path’!
This is an excerpt from a sermon I had listened to or article I had read a couple of years ago. And I am thankful I came across it again as it is such a good reminder of what godly guidance means.
As someone who was exposed for a long time to certain unbiblical ideologies – where people were hoaxed into believing that there were special “men of God” who had “special anointing” for “special access” to God’s “secret plans” and acted like modern day fortune-tellers and diviners who needed to tell you “God’s purpose for your life” to foresee which man/woman you are to meant to marry, or which job to take etc. or “declare” or “prophesy into your life” (the pathetic list is long), the above spoke volumes to me. The deception is real. The truth however, is sure. There is one Shepherd of my soul, one Throne of Grace. And by God’s in-comprehendible love, I have direct access to Him – no other human mediator is required, no other “man of God” is up to the task. Christ is my only mediator, God’s Holy Spirit is sufficient for guidance, God’s written word is enough. I filter everything else through these means. It’s actually that simple. May I never be deceived by the pomps of men.
My dad
Sometime late last year 2014 to be precise – I had to pick up my car from the garage, so my dad gave me a lift there. We got to the garage, I picked up my car, and headed home with my dad driving in front of me as I followed right behind. Now we got closer to home, we reached a junction and my dad being in front reached it first, and when the road was clear turned right. Basically, the route was… turn right and then make the next left. My dad emerged, turned right and then left. I still had to wait at the junction as the road was not clear. Anyway, once the road was clear, I turned right, and then took left, and there I saw that my dad had parked on the road waiting for me to show! It is a road I had taken hundred times before, so it wasn’t really because I would get lost that he stopped. He was just been dad. Once he saw I was right behind him, he drove on until we arrived home, less than a minute later.
I teased him about it when I got home, and said something in sense of, “but daddy there was no need for you to wait for me, I’ve driven that road many times and I know the way!” Well, he responded, “I was just doing my job plus your mummy would have had my head if I got home without you” …or something like that.
I don’t know why, but that really stuck with me. My dad, the leader, protector. I could recount many other events through my life where he has been there. Even when I felt he didn’t need to be. His love has been constant and I truly thank God for the privilege to being able to call him dad dearest. We have our moments of disagreements of course. But through him I get a glimpse of what it means to be loved by someone unconditionally not because of what I have done or not done, but because he chooses to. ❤
Tosin’s Musings 